The Jays Don't Know Where Their Towel Is

• Jaze losed again.


• At least Vernon had an RBI.


• Iz it gud that he has one, or bad that it didn't matter?


• Obviously it would be silly to blame one player for the losing streak when the entire team stopped hitting for power. Rolen hasn't driven in a run since the series against the Yankees and nobody's getting on his case, and he's actually getting paid more this year than Wells.


• But if dey fixed Vernon, why dont dey do the same to evrywun?


• It depends what the problem was. Since everyone started struggling at the same time, isn't it more likely that one thing affected everyone than that everyone started to struggle at the same time for different reasons? I mean, there's no reason word would have got out on how to pitch to everyone at the same time, and even if it had, the Jays have seen their share of mistake pitches during this streak and failed to capitalize on them.


• Sumfing like bad noms?


• Sure, everyone eats from the same postgame spread, so they could all have been affected by a case of food poisoning at the same time. Also, they spend a lot of time together, so if one of them was sick it could spread to everyone, especially on a road trip because they don't have any choice but to travel together. And the team hasn't had many days off compared to the other teams in the division, so they could just be tired


• Wut about da nuklball hangover?


• It's not like they had many hits against Clayton Richard the game before the road trip, and even Rios's game winning triple was just a bloop single the center fielder missed trying to make a do-or-die play to keep it a tie game. Anyways, they beat Wakefield at the start of a 5 game winning streak last year, and later in the year when he shut the Jays out, they won the next game 8-1, and this is basically the same group of players. Why would it happen to them now?


• Even Cito sed yung guyz can has their swing screwed up by the nuklr when he benchd Snider.


• Well if it is the knuckleball hangover then the Jays are in trouble, because they'll face Wakefield first in the next homestand. I suppose this all sounds like rationalizing, since there's no way for anyone outside the organization to know for sure, and they'd never tell their opposition what their problems were.


• Yu seem pretty shur dese arnt the real Jaze.


• If these are the real Jays then they're the worst offensive team in history relative to their era, and even the most pessimistic projections thought the team's problem would be starting pitching depth. Maybe the first six weeks weren't the real Jays either, but they can't really be this bad.


• Nobodyz as bad as dey luk wen deyr losing.


• Exactly.